It took me until my recent break-up to really feel comfortable identifying as bisexual. I never found that I really jelled with the term ‘straight’, but I was so resistant to calling myself anything else. I’d also only ever been in relationships with men so part of me always thought “ah well…maybe I’ll just never know”.
A huge part of this was that I never truly felt ‘bi enough’, or if I talked about it to some I was met with resistance and assurances that it was just something that would pass. I felt that because I hadn’t had any relationships with women, people wouldn’t believe me. However, after talking to others in the same position I’ve found that this isn’t an uncommon phenomena. A lot of people who identify as bisexual face stigma, or biphobia.
Biphobia is an aversion to people who identify as bisexual and it takes many forms. This can include denying that bisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation (e.g. “it’s just a phase”) or spreading negative stereotypes.
This can be really invalidating and can make it a lot more difficult for people to understand and explore themselves. If someone is talking to you about their sexuality or possibly questioning their sexuality sometimes the best thing to do is just listen. It’s totally normal to have questions but before you ask, just make sure that what you’re about to say won’t make the other person feel uncomfortable.
I guess the most important thing I’ve taken away from this is that you are the only one who can truly understand how you identify. If anyone else is going through the same thing just know that you valid and however you feel is completely normal and ok.
If you have any other questions definitely give Q Life a call. They’re a specific counselling service for people the LGBTIQA+ community and their friends/family.
Q Life: 1800 184 527