Breakups f**king suck…So here I have some thoughts from a sexology student with a broken heart. My guide to a ‘healthy break up’. Before I continue, I’m going to explain what my definition of a ‘healthy break up’ is because to be honest it can be COMPLETELY different based on every relationship and why a relationship ends.

If you think about it, there really aren’t too many times in your life when you would see vulvas. I can think of many people who, when they saw one for the first time, saw it in porn (either filmed or still images). Porn is known for editing and photo-shopping, so sometimes the bodies depicted are accentuated by makeup, surgery or photo editing. Even medical diagrams and some older educational resources are guilty of this – illustrations showing a vulva that is just a line, or hole – devoid of labia, or clitoris, or anything making it look like a real vulva. That’s really the only time I might ever get my knickers in a twist about ‘how vulvas should look’.

It’s hard to find a safe place to pee when you’re transgender…If I go into the women’s bathroom, I will likely frighten others because I am 5’11, have facial hair and a deep voice. But if I go into the men’s room with lipstick or a dress on, I am all too likely to be verbally harassed or seriously injured…

…So usually, I just hold it.