YEP Volunteer Blog Post – Anna: Sexual Assertiveness – The Power to Say NO

How easy or difficult is it for you to talk about sex? Do you feel comfortable with starting a conversation about whether you want to have sex with your partner, or whether you would rather like to wait? Or, could you initiate a conversation about protection from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and birth control? Being able to talk honestly about sex can certainly be called a skill, and it is one with a high degree of difficulty.

There are at least two forms of sexual assertiveness, which are important for anyone to consider. The first includes telling a current or potential partner what you expect and want in your sexual relationship. However, saying openly and clearly what you desire can be hard: What if your partner interprets your request in the wrong way and sees it as criticism? What if you feel embarrassed about what you wish for?

A second and maybe even more important form of sexual assertiveness is reflected in the understanding that you do not have to have sex unless you want to, that it is not okay for anyone to touch or kiss you if you do not want them to, and that you do not have to do anything sexually with which you are not comfortable. So, for me, being sexual assertive means to state with assurance and self-confidence what you want and even more important what you DO NOT want in a sexual relationship.

Though I know we have various reasons why we do or do not want to say no. We might not want to disappoint our sexual partner, be afraid that they think badly of us, or that we jeopardise our relationship by stating our thoughts. Hence, and to make thinking about sexual assertiveness a little easier, I thought of a couple of guidelines that might be helpful in establishing our own power to say what we want:

  • First of all, understand that you have sexual rights and most importantly the right to say NO. If you feel uncomfortable in any intimate situation or are not ready to do whatever you and your partner are thinking of doing, know that you can refuse sexual contact at any time regardless of how aroused your partner might be. You have the right to have your wishes respected.

 

  • Try to think of and identify the ideas and beliefs that keep you from speaking up. Maybe you are under the impression that asking for a condom will kill the mood or that starting a conversation about STIs will scare your partner away. If you are aware of your beliefs, you can start replacing them with others that will encourage you to express your needs.

 

  • Understand that there is a difference between being assertive and not respecting what your sexual partner desires. Therefore, when talking for example about what you do not want, you should acknowledge what the other person is feeling, clearly state which activity you do not want to engage in, and explain your reasons. For example, your partner might want to engage in sexual intercourse without a condom. Because you do not want to take the risk of transmission of STIs or pregnancy you do not want to agree to their request. By explaining your thoughts, you are validating your partner but simultaneously express your wishes, beliefs, and rights.

 

  • A thing that I feel is one of the most important aspects of assertive communication is to say what YOU want. For instance, “I don’t want to have sex right now” as opposed to “You are pressuring me to have sex with you”. In my experience your request is much more likely to be heard if you state it as your request. Nevertheless, I’d urge you to speak up however you can! A simple no can be all you need.

 

  • One last thing you might want to consider is discussing your sexual views, experiences, and desires with your partner before you actually engage in any kind of sexual activity. Being assertive can be much harder in the heat of the moment.

By being sexually assertive you do not only have the skills to tell your partner what you want but can express what you do not want – you have the power to say NO. Unquestionably, sexual assertiveness is a difficult skill to acquire but onCE established you will be able to protect yourself against STIs, unwanted pregnancy, or unwanted sexual advances.

AND, You will be able to enjoy sex for all its beautiful aspects.

 

 

507 thoughts on “YEP Volunteer Blog Post – Anna: Sexual Assertiveness – The Power to Say NO”

  1. My spouse and I stumbled over here different page and thought I should check things
    out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.
    Look forward to looking over your web page again.

  2. Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site
    is wonderful, as well as the content!

  3. Howdy! This post could not be written much better!
    Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He always kept talking about this. I’ll forward this information to him.
    Pretty sure he’ll have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!

  4. I think this is one of the such a lot vital information for me.
    And i’m glad studying your article. But should observation on few basic things,
    The website style is ideal, the articles is actually nice : D.
    Good task, cheers cheap flights 3gqLYTc

  5. I read this article fully concerning the difference of newest
    and previous technologies, it’s remarkable article.

    34pIoq5 cheap flights

  6. I like what you guys tend to be up too. This type of clever work and reporting!
    Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to our blogroll.
    cheap flights yynxznuh

  7. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude!

    Many thanks, However I am going through troubles with your RSS.

    I don’t understand the reason why I can’t subscribe to it.

    Is there anybody else having identical RSS problems?
    Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly
    respond? Thanx!!

  8. Good way of describing, and fastidious paragraph to take information on the topic of my presentation subject matter, which i am going
    to present in university.

  9. Hey! This is my first visit to your blog! We are
    a team of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a marvellous job!

  10. What i don’t realize is actually how you are not actually a lot more well-liked than you might be now.
    You are very intelligent. You know thus considerably when it comes to
    this topic, made me in my opinion imagine it from a lot of
    varied angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated except it’s something to do with
    Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs excellent. All the time deal with it up!

  11. I’m impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both educative and amusing, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this during my hunt for something concerning this.

  12. I not to mention my guys have been examining the best tips and tricks on your web site and so immediately I had a terrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the website owner for those tips. My boys had been totally glad to learn all of them and now have truly been taking pleasure in them. Thank you for actually being well considerate and also for deciding upon this sort of awesome useful guides most people are really eager to be informed on. Our sincere apologies for not expressing gratitude to you sooner.

  13. Hello there! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

  14. Fantastic beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

  15. We’re a group of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with helpful information to work on. You have performed a formidable job and our whole community will likely be thankful to you.|

  16. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I in finding It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to present one thing back and help others like you aided me.|

  17. Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content!|

  18. I’ve been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  19. My brother recommended I might like this website. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!|

  20. I think the admin of this web page is genuinely working hard in favor of
    his web page, for the reason that here every stuff is quality based data.

  21. We absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be exactly
    I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content for you personally?
    I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write with regards to here.
    Again, awesome site!

  22. First of all I want to say terrific blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing.
    I have had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out.
    I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are
    lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips?

    Kudos!

  23. Howdy! This blog post could not be written any better! Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept preaching about this. I will send this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a very good read. I appreciate you for sharing!|

  24. My brother recommended I might like this web site.
    He was totally right. This post truly made my day.
    You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  25. Hello, i feel that i noticed you visited my website so i came to return the favor?.I am trying to find things to enhance my site!I guess its ok to use some of your ideas!!|

  26. Excellent pieces. Keep writing such kind of information on your blog.
    Im really impressed by your site.
    Hey there, You have performed a fantastic job. I’ll certainly digg
    it and in my opinion suggest to my friends.
    I am sure they will be benefited from this web site.

  27. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on various websites for about a year
    and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent
    things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content
    into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

  28. Hello there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a
    group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
    Your blog provided us beneficial information to
    work on. You have done a extraordinary job!

  29. Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!|

  30. Asking questions are in fact nice thing if you are not understanding anything entirely, but this post gives pleasant understanding even.|

  31. Hi everyone, it’s my first go to see at this web page, and article is actually fruitful in support of me, keep up posting these types of articles.|

  32. always i used to read smaller articles or reviews that also clear their
    motive, and that is also happening with this paragraph which I am reading
    at this place.

  33. I’ll right away snatch your rss as I can’t find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please let me recognise in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.|

  34. I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write in relation to here. Again, awesome website!|

  35. I am not sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for this information for my mission.|

  36. Usually I don’t learn post on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to try and do so! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great article.|

  37. Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue concerning this piece of writing at this place at this website, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place.|

  38. Hi there colleagues, how is the whole thing, and what you wish for to say about this article, in my view its truly awesome designed for me.|

  39. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Opera. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Many thanks|

  40. Hello there to all, how is all, I think each one is getting more from this website page, and your perspectives are wonderful for new visitors.

  41. hey there and thank you for your info – I have certainly picked up anything new from
    right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues
    using this site, since I experienced to reload the site a lot of times previous to I could get it to
    load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK?
    Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement
    in google and could damage your quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords.
    Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for much more
    of your respective exciting content. Make sure you
    update this again very soon.

  42. Dzięki za wskazówek dotyczących naprawy kredytu na temat tego blogu. Rzeczy i chciałbym rada ludziom byłoby, aby zrezygnować z rzeczywistej mentalności że będą teraz i wypłać później. Like a as be a} społeczeństwo {my|my wszyscy|my wszyscy|wielu z nas|większość z nas|większość ludzi} ma tendencję do {robienia tego|robienia tamtego|próbowania tego|zdarzyć się|powtórz to} dla wielu {rzeczy|problemów|czynników}. Obejmuje to {wakacje|wakacje|wypady|wyjazdy wakacyjne|wycieczki|rodzinne wakacje}, meble, {i|jak również|a także|wraz z|oprócz|plus} przedmiotów {chcemy|chcielibyśmy|życzymy|chcielibyśmy|naprawdę chcielibyśmy to mieć}. Jednak {musisz|musisz|powinieneś|powinieneś chcieć|wskazane jest, aby|musisz} oddzielić {swoje|swoje|to|twoje obecne|swoje|osoby} chcą {od wszystkich|z potrzeb|z}. {Kiedy jesteś|Kiedy jesteś|Kiedy jesteś|Jeśli jesteś|Tak długo, jak jesteś|Kiedy} pracujesz, aby {poprawić swój kredyt|poprawić swoją zdolność kredytową|zwiększyć swój kredyt|zwiększyć swój kredyt|podnieś swój ranking kredytowy|popraw swój kredyt} wynik {musisz zrobić|zrobić|faktycznie potrzebujesz|naprawdę musisz} dokonać kilku {poświęceń|kompromisów}. Na przykład {możesz|możesz|możesz|możesz|będziesz mógł|| możesz|prawdopodobnie możesz} robić zakupy online {aby zaoszczędzić pieniądze|aby zaoszczędzić pieniądze|aby zaoszczędzić} lub {możesz przejść do|może się zwrócić|może odwiedzić|może obejrzeć|może sprawdzić|może kliknąć} używane {sklepy|sklepy|detaliści|sprzedawcy|punkty sprzedaży|dostawcy} zamiast {drogie|drogie|drogie|drogie|drogie|drogich} domów towarowych {dla|w odniesieniu do|dotyczących|odnoszących się do|przeznaczonych dla|do zdobycia} odzieży {termometr bezdotykowy|termometry bezdotykowe|termometry bezdotykowe ranking|termometr do czoła|termometry do czoła|termometr bezkontaktowy|termometry bezkontaktowe|termometr koronawirus|termometr|termometr na podczerwień|termometry na podczerwień|termometr lekarski|termometry lekarskie|szybki termometr medyczny|szybkie termometry medyczne}.

  43. Dzięki za wskazówki dotyczące naprawy kredytu na temat tego wszystkiego blogu. Co ja chciałbym rada ludziom jest zrezygnować z tej mentalności że mogą teraz i zapłać później. As a as be a} społeczeństwo {my|my wszyscy|my wszyscy|wielu z nas|większość z nas|większość ludzi} ma tendencję do {robienia tego|robienia tamtego|próbowania tego|zdarzyć się|powtórz to} dla wielu {rzeczy|problemów|czynników}. Obejmuje to {wakacje|wakacje|wypady|wyjazdy wakacyjne|wycieczki|rodzinne wakacje}, meble, {i|jak również|a także|wraz z|oprócz|plus} przedmiotów {chcemy|chcielibyśmy|życzymy|chcielibyśmy|naprawdę chcielibyśmy to mieć}. Jednak {musisz|musisz|powinieneś|powinieneś chcieć|wskazane jest, aby|musisz} oddzielić {swoje|swoje|to|twoje obecne|swoje|osoby} chcą {od wszystkich|z potrzeb|z}. {Kiedy jesteś|Kiedy jesteś|Kiedy jesteś|Jeśli jesteś|Tak długo, jak jesteś|Kiedy} pracujesz, aby {poprawić swój kredyt|poprawić swoją zdolność kredytową|zwiększyć swój kredyt|zwiększyć swój kredyt|podnieś swój ranking kredytowy|popraw swój kredyt} wynik {musisz zrobić|zrobić|faktycznie potrzebujesz|naprawdę musisz} dokonać kilku {poświęceń|kompromisów}. Na przykład {możesz|możesz|możesz|możesz|będziesz mógł|| możesz|prawdopodobnie możesz} robić zakupy online {aby zaoszczędzić pieniądze|aby zaoszczędzić pieniądze|aby zaoszczędzić} lub {możesz przejść do|może się zwrócić|może odwiedzić|może obejrzeć|może sprawdzić|może kliknąć} używane {sklepy|sklepy|detaliści|sprzedawcy|punkty sprzedaży|dostawcy} zamiast {drogie|drogie|drogie|drogie|drogie|drogich} domów towarowych {dla|w odniesieniu do|dotyczących|odnoszących się do|przeznaczonych dla|do zdobycia} odzieży {strzykawki insulinowe 1ml|strzykawki tuberkulinowe|strzykawki|strzykawka|strzykawki insulinowe|strzykawki do insuliny|strzykawki trzyczęściowe tuberkulinowe|strzykawka tuberkulinowa|strzykawka insulinowa|strzykawka do insuliny|strzykawka trzyczęściowe tuberkulinowa}.

  44. Really a great addition. I need to thank you for

    this fantastic read!! I definitely enjoyed every

    little bit of it. I’ve got you bookmarked to look at

    new stuff you post…

  45. Currently it sounds like Expression Engine is the
    top blogging platform available right now. (from
    what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  46. I like the helpful info you provide in your articles.

    I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.
    I am quite sure I will learn a lot of new stuff right here!
    Best of luck for the next!

  47. Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?|

  48. of course like your web site but you need to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the
    truth nevertheless I will definitely come back again.

  49. each time i used to read smaller articles which also
    clear their motive, and that is also happening with this article which I am reading here.

  50. hello!,I love your writing very a lot! percentage we communicate extra approximately your post on AOL? I require a specialist on this area to unravel my problem. Maybe that is you! Having a look ahead to peer you. |

  51. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to
    be actually something which I believe I would never understand.

    It seems too complex and very wide for me. I’m taking a look
    ahead to your next submit, I’ll attempt to get the dangle of it!

  52. I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this site. I’m hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own, personal site now ;)|

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

What's happening at YEP

YEP at Fairground 2016

Read more »

YEP Youth Sector Summit: Technosexual World. Call for Abstracts.

Read more »

Meet the team

Page not found

Meet the crew »

Let's keep in touch

or

Subscribe and receive monthly updates on news and our latest resources.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Where are we?

Our offices are with the friendly team and YACWA

4/196 Oxford Street, Leederville 6007, Western Australia

T: (08) 9227 5440 T: 1800 670 231
F: (08) 9238 7446 E: yep@yacwa.org.au

Follow Us