YEP Supporter Blog Post – Amelia Murray: The Stigma of Female Pleasure

When I was 16, I played a particularly memorable game of ‘never-have-I-ever’ with a small group of my girl friends, and one of the things that came up was ‘never have I ever tried to masturbate’. Out of the group, only myself and one other friend raised our hands and admitted to trying it (albeit unsuccessfully for quite a while!!). I don’t know whether the others genuinely hadn’t masturbated, or whether they had and were too ashamed to own up to it. Either way, my friend and I were met with shock and disgust. I remember thinking that was so odd! Surely the others were curious too?

Living in an all-girls boarding house for 6 years gave me some insight into how teenage girls approach female pleasure and masturbation. There was an attitude that pleasure and orgasms were something that would be given to us by males at some stage. The idea that young women could take the matters into their own hands (pun intended) and explore their sexuality by themselves was so taboo. Why is this?

Masturbating is normal and natural for everyone, no matter their gender or sexuality. However, in the media and our society in general, males are portrayed as sexual beings and women as sexual objects for men. Vaginas are also depicted as being a bit gross (especially with periods) and are much more highly censored in media than penises. It’s no surprise then that girls are ashamed of owning their sexuality when they’re exposed to these messages their whole life.

If there was less shame and stigma attached with female pleasure, more girls would be getting in touch with their sexuality and know their own bodies and what works for them. And this would benefit everyone involved! Girls would be getting more pleasure AND they’d be able to teach their future partners what to do in bed, because let’s be honest, young guys have no more clue about the mysteries of the female genitalia than young girls do. So girls, don’t be scared or ashamed to explore your sexuality. There’s plenty of good websites out there with some handy tips and tricks (again, pun intended), and most importantly, have fun!

2 thoughts on “YEP Supporter Blog Post – Amelia Murray: The Stigma of Female Pleasure”

  1. You make a lot of generalisations and claims with no proof.
    When/where or by whom, are vaginas are considered gross? Maybe among your cohort of boarding school girls, but that’s hardly surprising considering that most people are straight.
    The same question for censoring. How are they “much more highly censored”?
    You use your experience at a private religious boarding school in an affluent area as evidence that there is “shame and stigma attached with female pleasure”. This situation is biased by a great number of factors that are too important to not mention (religion, close living quarters, embarrassment, to name a few).
    There’s no evidence of stigma presented, perhaps changing it ‘My Experience With Masturbation’ might represent this article better.

  2. Thanks for sharing your experience! Here in my country (Philippines), we don’t usually talk about this kind of topic, even among our circle of friends. We often avoid topics about virginity, sex and masturbation because we’re thought to be conservative. We tried not to confess about our sex lives because we don’t want to be considered ‘immoral’.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

What's happening at YEP

Safe Schools Coalition WA: Introductory Session

Read more »

YEP at Fairground 2016

Read more »

Meet the team

YEP Crew 2019-2020

Meet the crew »

Let's keep in touch


Subscribe and receive monthly updates on news and our latest resources.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Where are we?

Our offices are with the friendly team and YACWA

4/196 Oxford Street, Leederville 6007, Western Australia

T: (08) 9227 5440 T: 1800 670 231
F: (08) 9238 7446 E:

Follow Us