I’ve been having many a conversations with friends lately about ye old tale of being a singleton and noticed that these convo’s are predominantly based in the negative. So, I’ve decided to write a positively single list to raise the spirits and flip the idea of being a being a solo into a so-high (see what I did there?). Now this is not to say that you can’t do all of these while you’re in a ship (I hope you can that’d be sick!), it’s for anyone really but chucking a single spin on it for those friends I know who need it 🙂
- Bullshit Free Zone
Mate, being single and drama free is one of my absolute favourite things about being 22 and single. I don’t have to deal with dumb fights, misunderstandings and pettiness which can happen in unhealthy relationships and the lack of that in my life delights me to the nth degree. If I’m having bull shit times with someone, I legit just don’t have to have that person in my life, its fab and easy and I like it.
- Make Yourself Better
There’s always something to learn, a place to travel, an adventure to have or a motorbike license to be acquired. There are a million things to volunteer your time to, to immerse yourself in groups of new people or experiences of the sort that can improve your usual self to a nek level version and I reckon that’s pretty darn dandy. I think it’s a great habit to have instead of working to impress others, impress yo self #altruismbitch
- You Do You = Attractive
Adding to the above point, and not to somehow make this post about how others perceive you because that is not the point but here goes; You are most attractive to others when you are doing what you love. Boom. Legit, it’s true, the magic key is to….*drum roll*…. be yo damn self! Do the things that make your heart flutter and your fists clench with excitement! Fun fact; couples report being most attracted to their partner when they are “in their element”. Whether that’s on stage, in the water or in a sea of friends on the d-flo, work on being in your element not searching for just anyone to date.
5. Friends can do it all (pretty much)
I feel like if you have good friends, they can fill any feeling you have of being lonely, and yes I realise there’s a sex life to be had but regardless of this they can do a bloody good job. Create better relationships in your time as a single pringle. See old friends from high school that you haven’t in ages, ask someone on a lady date, a man date or a genderless date that you’ve met a few times that makes you laugh and you always think “I reckon that person is hella cool and I should be friends with them.”. Make your own network of people that inspire you to be better and do better, people who make you laugh so hard your belly hurts. Those people are the tits.
Legit, do it. You don’t have to ask anyone, that’s the beauty of the single! Book that ticket, take that leap, I promise you’ll learn something about culture, people, yourself and your world if you get out of your slump where you’re hoping that person you’ve had a crush on for yonks will turn around and confess their love for you. Just no, don’t do that, be your own bloody crush and be with someone that doesn’t take ages to realise your amazing, can I get a hell yeah? *hell yeah!*
- Treat Yo Self
I think when you’re single is a great time to learn to be kind to yourself. We get bombarded with so many messages about ‘needing’ someone else to look after us when the truth is you’re more than capable of doing that. Practise saying no because self-care is important, we shouldn’t need other people to tell us it’s okay to say no, be your own advocate. One of my favourite sayings I learnt this year is; a no to them is a yes to you. I think we forget that our lives are just as important as others J Outside of that though, buy yourself flowers, take yourself on long walks through the sunshine, learn to enjoy your company and go on coffee dates where you read/people watch or just sit, you don’t need anyone to do the things you like doing with so stahp saying that you do. You want to do something? Go do it. Simple. It’s fun to do things with a friend or a plus one but honestly challenge yourself and try it alone. Sign up for a team, a class or a travel tour, embrace the anxiety or nerves you feel and learn about yourself from it. Basically just learn how you tick so that when you feel upset or lonely etc, you know how to get yourself out of a funk or what you need to ask from your friends/fam to help J
- Spare Time
As a full time Uni student with two jobs, a social life and exercise to fit into a skedge, spare time is already a rare factor, but when I have it I can do whatever the heck I like! I can get ahead on work, read, go to the beach or lay in the sun and do blissfully nothing. There’s something very freeing about having control over your own time and that’s a winner for me.
Now obviously I realise there are many things about relationships that are just fab and they’re great too, this is just a reaction to people always thinking and being told that they ‘need’ a partner J Cuddles, a constant plus one, someone who asks how your day is and regular sex are lovely, but so too are spreading out in a bed all to yourself, going to things alone/taking a friend to make lols at things that happen, not texting someone every day and one night stands/(safe) sex buddies!
Peace out – A town singletons