YEP Crew Blog Post – Fatema: Let’s Pierce the Patriarchy!

So you want to commit an act of rebellion against your parents, teachers or the patriarchy and you’re thinking a genital piercing will do the job? I too, attempt to question the authority and revolt against the shackles of society’s meddlesome schemes.

Let’s be reasonable, if you’re going to do it, why stop at a piercing? Why not get a tattoo while you’re at it? You could become a walking art gallery and start charging people just to look at you. As genius as it is, let’s put my moneymaking plot aside for just a second and focus on the (arguably) more important side of the situation. You want to make a statement that you are unhappy with your current socio-economic standing in your community. Clearly, there is no better way to do this than by impulsively ‘tatting up’.

What’s wrong with this is the ‘impulsive’ part. If you’re going to be rebellious, surely you can do it in a way that will cause minimal harm to you and still shock your old folks. Believe me, they’ll still see you as a disappointment if you don’t contract a blood-borne virus as a result of your risqué behaviour getting a backyard piercing performed by your repeat offending boyfriend.

Getting a backyard tat or piercing might sound like a great bonding sesh with your boyfriend after he just came out of prison again, but since he’d been sharing the makeshift tattoo needle with his fellow blood brothers in the cell there was little chance he wouldn’t contract any of the following blood-borne viruses: hepatitis B, C or HIV from one of his mates. To give you an idea of how likely it is for him to have a BBV, 33% of males in adult prisons have hepatitis C. Not to mention, 1 in every 50 Australians live with a BBV and don’t feel symptoms of it. If you share equipment with him, not knowing what he’s been up to, you could get a BBV undetected too. Then how will you be able to dedicate your life to defeating the patriarchy?

In all seriousness, you don’t have to fork out all that money that you don’t even have (sorry to remind you) if you want to challenge the system. Why not join a friendly cult that promotes peaceful world domination? If you still really want some tats, at least know the facts! Save up your money and get it done professionally.

The tattoo artist should live up to the industry hygiene standards, at least better than your boyfriend whose only experience was practicing on his prison mates. No one will pay to visit your human art gallery just to see half finished primary school standard caricatures. Best to get your money’s worth, I say! Even with that genital piercing, it’s not worth ‘DIY-ing’ no matter how much you think you sterilised your equipment. Not just that, good luck following the instructions on the wikiHow tutorial you found online. Your best bet is, if you know that your folks would never agree to it, wait until you are 18 and loaded with enough ca$h!

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